in the midden of nowhere

long time no post here.....2012 already....

2012-01-16T06:11:00.003Z

I am so glad to see the back 0f 2011: so much horrible stuff......husband suicidally depressed, then hospitalised(for something else)....breast lump for me, fortunately benign.....I had a stroke, back in - I think - April...and various other difficulties health and home wise....and then my mother killed in a fire in November.

not a good year.

thank heavens for good friends(mainly online...only one remaining 'real life' friend), lovely neighbours who are there to help and support at any time, and a new beginning which came just before my mother's death(more on that in a different blog).... and if it wasn't for her, I would not have it, so for all the unfortunate and difficult things which happened between us, she left me a wonderful legacy which is giving me comfort.

I did a lot of grieving for her long before she actually died: so it still feels surreal and strange, and the manner of her death was terribly upsetting. Her wee cat died with her. I'm going to leave this here now as I'm getting teary again.

all clear

2011-05-18T07:04:00.001+01:00

thank the Universe the lump was all clear....should have posted that before now: home stuff as stressful as ever, though....

I am

2011-03-09T15:30:00.002Z

somewhere between here, and there

I have a lump in my breast(appointment on Monday)

I have a home situation which is increasingly mindblowingly stressful

so that's about it, really.

I love my cat. He asks so little, and gives so much

why?

2011-01-23T17:26:00.000Z

do people have more people?

ie why do people have children?

joan sutherland

2010-10-14T18:04:00.001+01:00

sad to hear of her passing; I hope she's enjoying a cocktail with my dear friend Henry who was a great fan

nice wee things today

2010-10-14T17:58:00.003+01:00

- my favourite ever Frasier: the one with Patrick Stewart
- an unexpected Tannhauser with a wonderful Wolfram
- a classic Likely Lads: avoiding the score

these are wee things which brighten and help me keep going.

cat today

2010-09-28T13:23:00.001+01:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

sudden realisation.....

2010-09-06T18:18:00.001+01:00

....I have been and still am spreading myself too thinly(gotta love adverbs)........

somethin's gotta give
somethin's gotta give
somethin's gotta give...........

so here's to me....... :)

damn, I posted in the wrong place

2010-08-23T18:34:00.000+01:00

say what?

hypothetically.....

what happens when the person is not the same person anymore.........

what brought them together is greatly lost....

for better or worse....

I stay, I try, I silently scream.....

maybe it's me? Some days easier than others. No-one to talk to(online friends, thank the universe: you know who you are). I am not cut out for this, That is not an excuse; it is a fact. I am working against myself.

How is it possible to love and hate the same person at the same time?

oh, may the powers that be forgive me but I needed to say that somewhere,and a random notebook didn't do it; it had to be in a place where there was the possibility of someone seeing it, reading it, and therefore allowing myself to be judged.

Always have been, always will be, sod it.

I think I remember a line from a Chrissie Hynde song: "It's a thin line between love and hate". Vacillates.

I know that there are so many more people so much worse off than I am, but right here, right now, I am so........weary.

It's like a constant drip, drip, srip, against stone.....wearing me down; the endless moaning and grumbling and I want to scream SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then ofn course the row after daring to say something like that,and the risk of upsetting him, and and and and and and and and...........

I shall post this before I chicken out and say how thankful(sorry but 'grateful' still sticks in my throat) I am that I have this place to say this.

Tp anyone who read this, thank you.

och.....

2010-07-21T16:13:00.000+01:00

....damn, but I'm missing the cycling today........

three craws at the Open

2010-07-17T17:18:00.003+01:00

well, there were only two.....but allow for some artistic license......

three craws sat upon a wa'
sat upon a wa'
sat upon a wa - a - a- a........
three craws sat upon a wa'
on a windy east course golf course

the first craw went lookin' fur his ba'
looking' fur his ba'
lookin' fur his ba-a-a-a-
the first craw went looking' fur his ba'
on an an east course windy golf course

the second craw said 'Calcavecchi-aw'
'Calcavecchi-aw'
'Calecavecchi-aw-aw-aw-aw'
the second craw said 'Calcavecchi-aw'
on a windy east course golf course

The third craw said 'ANYONE AT A'!
ANYONE AT A'!
ANYONE AT A-A--A-A'
The third craw said
''ANYONE AT A'!!!!!!!!!!!
OTHER THAN THAT WOODS MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

half and half

2010-07-15T15:12:00.002+01:00

I should know better than to set myself a challenge..my head doesn't work that way :)

so, given that the Tour is now half way through, and I am in the middle of the foot of one green and one yellow, I think I'll end up with a pair of one green and one yellow.

and why not.......

Tour de France

2010-07-08T18:23:00.002+01:00

exciting, wonderful, inspiring, distracting, delightful, wonderful, colourful, and so much more......

last year: one pair of multicoloured socks(the Peleton)
this year: three pairs: yellow, green, and red/white(wish I could do spots but alas no..nearest I can get is mix)

2010-06-20T21:45:00.004+01:00

oh I don't know what ........

2010-06-20T21:43:00.000+01:00

friend of dh died........ weird feelings. Very very weird.

the loving of, and by, a cat

2010-06-18T18:22:00.002+01:00

is different; this little soul depends on me, and that helps keep me going. If not for him it would be very easy to let go.

I know I have little to complain about in comparison to others, and in fact I am not complaining: just saying how it is.

How it is, is..........it gets no easier.

thank you

2010-06-06T18:52:00.000+01:00

(((((((((((((((((((((((((( Heather ))))))))))))))))))))))

just how it is

2010-05-31T17:06:00.001+01:00

I feel played out.

That apart, adding crochet cat blankets to my list of 'the only things I'm good for'.

doctor

2010-05-25T07:31:00.002+01:00

at the doctor, for a review and chat.......needed to talk about some crappy stuff; and I said to him that I thought that all I was good at doing was loving my cat and knitting socks.

And he said - can't remember the exact words, but something like this: that those were two very good contributions to make to the world.

I couldn't have asked for a better response.

just thinking......

2010-05-18T18:41:00.003+01:00

.....what a pretty wee lass Madonna was in her early career....

......how cute Sarah Beeny is when she wrinkles her nose in the Landlord Insurance ad..........

......how much I admire Leonard Cohen, in so many ways.......

thanks

2010-05-13T10:18:00.000+01:00

for all the help and hugs in the recent situation

comfort foods

2010-05-04T10:34:00.005+01:00

some of mine, in no particular order, and definitely not all together :)

Ambrosia rice pudding(NOT low fat)

Heinz Tomato soup

custard

mashed potatoes with lots of butter

toast and marmalade(Golden Shred)

Butterkist

roast potatoes

the skinny wee kid bars of Dairy Milk

pizza

white chocolate

bacon sandwiches(but only a daydream unless I fall off the veggie wagon)

to be added to.........

just remembered.......my own home made soup, when I can be bothered to make it

memory....Oshawa

2010-04-12T18:11:00.002+01:00

I have that 'Feedjit' thing on the blog, and when I saw a visit from Oshawa, it gave me such a good memory of a friend who had relatives there..

(that said, it's lovely to see all the folks who visit.thank you so much)

thank you all .... :)

sweet dreams

2010-04-05T18:47:00.003+01:00

in amongst the usual crappy recurring stuff, last night had a couple of very sweet moments; one, where Amelie patted me on the shoulder and congratulated me on winning a darts tournament, and the other, where I met my first (and unrequited)love N.(aged around fourteen, and she never knew), and discovered that she loved me too..this both of us as the age we are now.

so, it's good to concentrate on those parts rather than the other stuff.

1979

2010-02-22T19:11:00.001Z

just been watching some old music videos from then and remember what a shitty, awful, messed up year that was for me......

not forgetting.....

2010-02-18T00:15:00.000Z

....Leanna and yarnsnob.......thank you ......

to those who made a difference

2010-02-17T18:25:00.002Z

AMBER! HEATHER!! ERSSIE!!! FRED!!!
you made me feel alive, not dead.
and Colin knows the lovely love
of Persian cats.......... I thank you, luv.

I changed my name to get away
From those who made me 'me' today:
I'm Alex, now, and then forever -
They'll never get me now:, no, NEVER

So thank you, all, who helped and healed me:
Please know I feel it all, believe me;
Whatever happens now,my friends
At least I'll be myself. No end.

to all who have helped me, recent and past, thank you
ALEX

mess

2010-02-17T18:00:00.002Z

oh what a mess my life has been
what point, what point, I cannot see;
I've given little, taken much
and really see no point in such

I care not that that this isn't 'good'
('real' poetry? as if I could!)
it's just some thoughts that sit and find
themselves all stewing round inside my mind

my three sweet Persian girls are gone -
I may or may not later on
meet them again, in sweeter places:
now, I feel their loss. No rhyme.

The little ginger boy who's here -
he's got my heart, no fear, no fear!
I don't know what I'd do without him:
he keeps me going, loving, living

I'm older than my years would say -
I can't see farther than today:
what when and where will I become?
Or nothing, nothing, nothing, numb?

I like this......

2010-02-17T17:45:00.001Z

......a quote from a commentator(male) during today's tennis on Eurosport.....

"My favourite quote: "No pain.......great!"

thank you.....and thank you.......

2010-02-09T19:15:00.005Z

thank you, dear friends, for taking the time and trouble and effort to send me your thoughts and words of comfort: it IS a comfort to know that there are people who understand and know what it's like. I do so very much appreciate it.

I hadn't intended, but I'm sending a thank you to the universe for showing me a very brief - two, three seconds? - glimpse of my amazing beloved Amelie Mauresmo, still as wonderful as ever, from the 'behind the scenes' at the tennis in Paris, as I'm watching tonight: it made me feel so good just to see her and know she is there, still rockin'!

That's a very very personal thing that I don't have words for, but it was such an unexpected and sweet moment that I wanted to say so.

grief

2010-02-01T18:06:00.003Z

I don't feel like or want to post this, but feel that I need to.

On Thursday we lost the last of our three sistergirl Persians......Socks, the last to go. Nearly fifteen years. All three within eighteen months or so. Sudden and heartbreaking and no more words right now.

All my wee lassies, in cat heaven together. Tears again.

out

2010-01-17T12:02:00.003Z

Today's "Sunday Times" has a free dvd of "The Piano", and I really wanted it....we don't always get a paper. Anyway, that and a couple of other messages needed to be got; I was getting ready to go this morning, and I could feel the tingling in my fingers and the tight throat and chest that comes when I get the "Don't want to go out" feeling(that's not a good description: it's not about wanting or not wanting, but I can't think of a better word for now so it'll have to do)

A. was up and had been thinking of going out himself, and said he'd go, and it would have been SO easy to say yes, and let him do it.....not far, not much to get, and so on....but I made myself carry on getting ready.

and just as I was ready to go, realised I still had my slippers on...so had to stop and put on socks and shoes......

I'd intended to show off the new Bob socks, but also knew I had to get myself out out out before I backed down, and so put on a pair of Jitterbug pink and purple(can't remember the name)because they were lying ready (er, waiting to be washed....dirty wee midden...) and my black Mary Janes and headed out with the wicker shopping trolley.

Starting off down the road......sunny, chilly, but a pleasant morning; and I began to feel it ease a little, though not completely. Went down the High Street to the paper shop first, and got this month's Yarn Forward, and my Sunday Times, and another one which had a pattern to knit a cuddly Bob the Builder(the wee boy downstairs loves B the B and I'd love to knit him one)

Then on round to the supermarket, and got my bits and pieces, and the feeling had gone......

I sat outside to sort out the messages when I'd finished, and just to have a wee think and relax. I like to do that - just calms me a bit. Sometimes I sing Hare Krishna(out loud). That calms me, too :)

By this time I was really knackered and slowing up, and sore, and tortoised my way home.

For anyone(UK) who has a Tesco nearby, those big canvassy bags with ladybirds on are great for stash storage. Also used as a scratching post when full!

I was thinking as I wandered home - I was dressed head to toe in my own knits. Not every item, but literally from head to toe:

hat in Lorna's Laces SS rainbow(just a beanie)
scarf in LLSS Red Rover(Old Shale)
long fingerless mitts in Jitterbug Mardi Gras
socks in Jitterbug bright pink/purple(can't remember name)

nothing really matched, and yet they all did, in a weird way...reds picking up reds picking up pinks picking up purples and blues.......gave me a good feeling, anyway, and that's all that matters.

other thing - jings this is a long post; well, I did say I was going to write more........anyway, today I have the racing mind a bit; I do get this, up and down, and it made me wonder if the fact that my body can't (due to fibro/HMS/ME and some other things) race along with my mind, does that mean my mind races even more to compensate? Just a thought........

right .... time to didg through the stash for Bob the Builder bits :)

socks: one pair, two singles

2010-01-14T09:21:00.005Z

Wollmeise Thriller
top to ankle in k2p2 rib, then st st foot. Loved the pooling on the leg - that's why I did it in rib(prefer st st)
needles: two circs 2.5mm
cast on 64 st

same sock, another view;
to show the stripy st st foot

and again..view from above......love the pooling and striping....

Lorna's Laces Sheperd Sock Devon, k2p2 cuff, st st for the rest. 2 circs 2.75mm 60 st

and now for the pair :)
Wollmeise Bob WD
short k2p2 cuff, then st st all the way. Colours make me think of autumn ......Cox's Orange Pippin Apples.
Again 2 circs 2.5 64st.

I'm finding that my Wollmeise 'fit' :)

by the by......the feet are mine.....long and very thin: size 8 UK. I have a pointy slanty toe and like doing an inside out three needle cast off on 16 st(8 on each needle)

agoraphobia and sandals and socks, oh my......

2010-01-10T14:58:00.004Z

.......not a resolution, just a realisation and an idea that might help and motivate me.

I used to think that agoraphobia meant that you don't go out - at all. It doesn't. I've got it. I'm also doing what I can to try to help myself.

At the moment, in all aspects of my life(mental. emotional, physical, spiritual) knitting is helping me keep going. I've also come to the conclusion(always knew really) that I'm not terribly good at big things.......and since I love making socks, they are perfect to make. For me, of course :)

And.....I got some wonderful Doc Marten sandals in the sales(several pairs for the price of one)......and then the thought came to me, like putting two and two together: sandals and socks: and then I thought, hmmmmm......that might encourage me to go out a little more; lovely new sandals to make all kinds of socks to show off......

just out locally, nothing spectacular: but OUT.

So I get to make my favourite thing to help myself...sounds good to me.

Oh, and I have Wollmeise, and some Sanguine Gryphon.....

Have finished one pair already and am charging up the camera so i hope to put pics up - please come back and have a look....the colourway reminds me of Cox's Orange Pippin apples......Wollmeise.....

got lots of others on the go - I like to have several different things at different stages/levels of difficulty(though most being simple stocking stitch: just knitting and loving it, the smooth motion being soothing in itself)

so, a bit of a ramble.....pics to follow, with luck......

First Post of 2010

2010-01-07T17:58:00.004Z

lots I want to say......but a brief one for now: firstly wishing all who read here a very happy and healthy New Year, and thanks for visiting.

Today brought the first mail we have had for over a week......combination of New Year and the weather, I guess; but a lovely combination of Wollmeise, Sanguine Gryphon, a sock book, and a Star Trek notebook.

A great mix of my favourite things :)

More thoughts soon......I really do want to do this more often; it helps me to think things through, sort my thoughts, and just generally feel as though I do actually exist.......sometimes I wonder ;)

Amelie Mauresmo announces retirement

2009-12-03T15:29:00.001Z

sad, though not altogether unexpected: a wonderful player, a beautiful person both inside and out. Will be sadly missed.

WOLLMEISE sale for charity

2009-11-22T18:37:00.003Z

Ebay Item number:130346288291

I'm selling this skein to raise as much money as I can for the SSPCA........please, have a look ...... would make a lovely gist for any knitter(yourself?).....Christmas is coming...... ;)

also selling one on Ravelry in the Wollmeiseholics Anonymous group ......

bid bid bid bid.......please...... ;)

free postage anywhere!

Wollmeise

2009-11-10T16:26:00.002Z

Johannisbeer und Brennessel Twin sock

got some lace too.... :)

Last night's dreams......

2009-11-10T13:57:00.002Z

from the sublime......
Amelie Mauresmo....sigh.....

to the ridiculous.....
Alex Ferguson......!

a speck of joy

2009-10-25T14:34:00.002Z

on the way back from the supermarket early this afternoon......

while in there, earplugs: vital to keep out the squeals.....

then afterwards, outside, taking them out, and walking, slowly, walking, plus wicker wheelie shopper behind me, plus stick.....feeling the wind blow through me, looking up and seeing the leaves and hearing the shusshing as the wind moved through them......

remembered how much I have always loved that sound, and offered up my speck of joy - for that's the thought image which came to mind at that moment - to the universe, to pass on as s/he/it sees fit.......

should have said.........

2009-10-22T21:50:00.000+01:00

.just so good to be meeeeeeeeeeeeeee.......................

the first!

2009-10-22T21:18:00.002+01:00

I suppose...real post from Alex(try as I might, I can't get that not to sound as though I'm talking in the third person...........WHICH I HATE .....and I'm not,and don't mean it that way)

anyway.......got flu, getting over flu, and just got a flu jag. Now ther's a combination(added to the fibro and M.E. etc)

I love being Alex, though.......it's braw, so it is, as Paw Broon might say...or Maw Broon.......

BIG DECISION.........................

2009-10-16T22:41:00.004+01:00

PUTTING IT INTO PRINT MAKES IT MORE REAL..........

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN, AND FOR VARIOUS REASONS:
I AM NO LONGER CLAIRE: MY NAME IS NOW ALEX

Lucy and me

2009-10-16T20:24:00.007+01:00

"The Ballad of Lucy Jordan"

ABBREVIATED & PERSONALISED: FOR ORIGINAL, SEE:

Colonel Carter's Cello

"The morning sun touched lightly on
the eyes of Lucy Jordan
In a white suburban bedroom
in a white suburban town"

(been there, done that......many times...)

"And she lay there neath the covers
dreaming of a thousand lovers
til the world turned to orange
and the room went spinning round"

(and again...)

"At the age of 37
she realized she'd never ride
through Paris in a sports car...."

(I did........in a Cortina; aged 21)

"with the warm wind in her hair..."

(well, down to Ayrshire, in a sportscar, many times.......)

"So she let the phone keep ringing......"

(I always do, now; that's reality.......)

"as she sat there softly singing......."

(I often do, now)

'in her Daddy's easy chair...."

(mine never had one)

"Her husband he's off to work......."

(yes, used to be like that)

"and the kids are off to school....."

(never had any)

"and there were oh so many ways
for her to spend her days....."

(lost count...............)

"She could clean the house for hours....."

(yeah, right)

"or rearrange the flowers...."

(hate cut flowers)

"or run naked through the shady street
screaming all the way....."

(NOW THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.......)

"The evening sun touched gently on
the eyes of Lucy Jordan
on the rooftop where she climbed
when all the laughter grew too loud....."

(it does, it does, too frequently.......)

may the rest never happen........

words fail me........

2009-10-13T18:10:00.001+01:00

Lord Martin of Springburn..........

holy smoke, to put it politely.......

the 'only' cat

2009-10-08T22:41:00.002+01:00

Socks/Socrates/Stardust/Mrs Wonderful/Nibbler..........she's the one now ruling the house with the iron paw. She sits waiting for her breakfast with an imperious air; she seems to be happy to have her Mammy and Daddy waiting on her every need.......

long may she reign......

just trying to look to the future; she may well become an 'Auntie' but for now she is a wee spoiled old lady puss, and loving it.......

too much too much too much too much too much

2009-10-01T21:52:00.000+01:00

"Hurt"

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

[Chorus:]
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

[Chorus:]
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

bits and pieces

2009-09-30T16:22:00.002+01:00

just some random stuff.......I can't bear the past one being the post I keep seeing when I look at my blog - don't want to delete it, glad I wrote it, but just need to write something more.......

so - some random stuff, like I said.

Something I find really irritating.....when names are shortened (eg "Corrie" for "Coronation Street"; "Strictly" for "Strictly Come Dancing".and more)

My favourite ever piece of graffiti, seen on the back of a grotty mucky lorry, waiting at the traffic lights outside the Commonwealth Pool in Edinburgh, years ago.......written in the dust:

"FOLLOW ME - I KNOW WHERE DONALD'S TROOSERS ARE!"

(ref. the song "Donald, where's yer Troosers?" for anyone who doesn't know)

That cracked me up and still does.

Ok, let's see, what else.......can't think: that'll do for now......

but a huge big thank you for all the love and support....

in loving memory of a sweet fur baby

2009-09-26T23:33:00.002+01:00

as some friends know, we had a complete litter of kittens, just over fourteen years ago, and Dear Duchess crossed the rainbow bridge a year ago....and I'm still not over that.

Last Monday, my dear husbadnd's birthday(76), who has been through two strokes and a brain haemmorhage, we had to have out beloved Toty put to sleep. She was his 'wee pal'.

she was......a particularly loving girl, a tomboy, a character, a daddy's girl; she would bring back a ball thrown for her, more like a wee sheepdog than a cat, but all cat for all that; she was brave and daring and beautiful and we loved her with all our hearts.

what do you do.......keep going; Socks, her sister, the Last of the Mohicans, is here and needing her own brand of love and cuddles. Not a cuddle cat; Toty had 'wee cuddles'(on my lap) or 'big cuddles'(on my shoulder and breast).

I love/d them all, Socks, Toty and the Duchess; and am right now mourning my sweet baby girl tomboy who gave so much and asked so little.

She was a 'disabled' cat - she needed constant care as she had had a corneal ulcer(due to veterinary misdiagnosis) when she was less than a year old, and for her whole life I had to make sure she had Viscotears at least once a day, and constant eye care.

I have lost someone who meant more to me than many people.

tuesday poem

2009-09-01T15:27:00.001+01:00

oh life confusing
bewildering
frustrating
moments of panic
moments of nice
moments of memories long ago,
yet clear as though they are today.......

keep going keep going keep going
don't know the destination

Wollmeise

2009-08-28T10:19:00.003+01:00

oh happy day....... got a Hertzblut on the update yesterday; I never seem to catch the updates, and to get such a gorgeous colour......... eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mick Jagger done me wrong.......

2009-08-15T14:46:00.002+01:00

in the kitchen, radio on, decided to do some 'gentle exercise'........ ie moving to the music. Big mistake when trying to do a bit of movement a la Mick Jagger - ow ow ow ow ow........sore shoulder..... blame it on Brown Sugar.......

Mambo No. 5 Revisited

2009-08-10T12:40:00.003+01:00

(a nod to Lou Bega's song "Mambo No. 5"..... just for me....)

a little bit of Amelie in my life
a little bit of k.d. by my side
a little bit of Rhona's all I need
a little bit of Hillary's what I see
a little bit of Xena in the sun
a little bit of Carter all night long
a little bit of Seven - here I am.......
a little bit of Hothead......Paisan!

Dr. Crusher's warp bubble

2009-08-09T17:43:00.002+01:00

"The severity of agoraphobia varies enormously between sufferers from those who are housebound, even room-bound, to those who can travel specific distances within a defined boundary."

for some time(think years) I've had an increasing feeling that I had agoraphobia, but thought it meant only those who were unable to leave the house...... so told myself no, it can't be.

however, the distance I can safely(as in without anxiety) travel has been gradually getting less and less....and the occasions less and less.

yesterday I had one of those lightbulb moments - the episode of Star Trek: the next Generation where Beverly is caught in Wesley's warp bubble, and her 'universe' is contracting.......and that's exactly how I feel.

I had a surf and found the quote at the start of this post..... so, it seems I 'qualify'.......

now for more thought and search for information.......

in the meantime, it's ok to be in my own wee warp bubble: just knowing that will - hopefully - slow down or even stop it from contracting any further......

and even if this doesn't make sense to anyone else(though I suspect it will......), it does to me, and that is the main thing, ain't it?

to be continued........

boldly go

2009-08-05T08:56:00.001+01:00

result just in.......

2009-08-02T22:58:00.000+01:00

Three cheers for Marion Bartoli!

a favourite poem

2009-07-29T13:11:00.002+01:00

THE SONG OF WANDERING AENGUS

by: W.B. Yeats

WENT out to the hazel wood,
Because a fire was in my head,
And cut and peeled a hazel wand,
And hooked a berry to a thread;

And when white moths were on the wing,
And moth-like stars were flickering out,
I dropped the berry in a stream
And caught a little silver trout.

When I had laid it on the floor
I went to blow the fire a-flame,
But something rustled on the floor,
And some one called me by my name:
It had become a glimmering girl
With apple blossom in her hair
Who called me by my name and ran
And faded through the brightening air.

Though I am old with wandering
Through hollow lands and hilly lands,
I will find out where she has gone,
And kiss her lips and take her hands;
And walk among long dappled grass,
And pluck till time and times are done
The silver apples of the moon,
The golden apples of the sun.

Random thoughts

2009-07-25T18:17:00.002+01:00

some more important than others......

and in no particular order.........

- Stargate jumped the shark(for me) when Jack O'Neill left(much as I adore Colonel Carter)

http://www.tvguide.com/jumptheshark

- I really really enjoyed the Tour de France this year; always do, but this year much more so; more than Wimbledon......

- I had a psychic connection with my dear husband today which showed me the fear he is feeling.......don't wish to go into detail, but I wished I could hold him close and just comfort him; unfortunately that is not his thing, so I couldn't: but it gave me a big insight......and I'm very grateful for that......he is, was, and always will be the love of my life, and we have been to hell and back together; I consider myself extremely fortunate to have this connection.......

- I want/need/intend to get(when appropriate) a kitten: still grieving for my glorious beautiful Duchess, never to be replaced, and have her two lovely old lady sisters: but I have a need to be a caregiver to a new young life too: only when appropriate, and I have no idea when that will be(very likely not for some time) but just knowing that that is there for me will be such a good feeling. A wee feline spirit, waiting for me, somewhere out there.........will also help me deal with the letting go process of old age, knowing that I can give a loving home to a wee one ......and this may sound daft, but I know 'the one' is there, waiting, waiting.........

- so.......make a start on tidying up, and kittenproofing the house....now, that's what I call an incentive.......

and to all who have ever visited and read here, thank you from the bottom of my heart.......

The Question: How am I doing?

2009-07-16T19:08:00.001+01:00

The answer: The Four of Cups

In some situations, you must focus on yourself. When life is too stressful, you need to devote time and energy to yourself or you will feel swamped. The Four of Cups can represent a positive period of self-reflection and renewal. By taking the time to go within to dream, muse and reflect, you restore your emotional balance.

with thanks to: T

100th blog entry

2009-07-10T16:32:00.002+01:00

just realised that yesterday was my 100th blog entry. Wow.....that is a lot, for me :)

Dylan

2009-07-09T22:36:00.000+01:00

There must be some way out of here
Said the joker to the thief
There's too much confusion
I can't get no relief

from "All Along the Watchtower" (Bob Dylan)

Dorothy Parker

2009-07-06T22:52:00.000+01:00

Resumé
Razors pain you; Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give;
Gas smells awful; You might as well live.

1919-1929 By Dorothy Parker

today......Wollmeise!

2009-05-28T21:14:00.003+01:00

got this.....and it is gorgeous......colour, smell. touch, everything.......ooooohhhhh.......grand way to brighten myself up......

support

2009-05-19T08:24:00.002+01:00

today I'll try to catch up.......have been feeling and acting a little 'hermitty'...... today I'll try to catch up with the good friends who give me love and support, and let them know how much I appreciate it...and even as I write this, I know they will understand my lack of contact, and that makes them all the more precious......

it helps to tell people that I appreciate them - need them; and I need to remind myself not to curl up into a ball and retreat(well, at least maybe not to do it quite so much or so often)

you know who you are.......thank you......

random ramble

2009-04-14T19:17:00.003+01:00

struggling a bit today....what with, just myself; last week I sent a 'cut-off' letter to the vampire. I thought long and hard and left it written for several days before posting it.

anyway, I did, and felt a sense of calmness and detachment afterwards..and I think that's leaving me a little now. I don't know WHAT I feel, just that it's not particularly pleasant: but that's ok.

I wish I had an 'off' switch so that I could mute the sounds around me......very sensitive to noise at the best of times, and even more so when I'm in the midst of anything emotional. It's fine if it's my own noise of choosing - as in, if I'm listening to music on headphones; but every little rustle, every clink of a knife and fork on a plate, all the everyday sounds..they are magnified to a nreve shattering level(and earplugs don't do the trick - it's still there, just muffled a little)

and I just don't feel like speaking, and don't want to appear rude, or try to explain myself(which I couldn't anyway).....

but the bunnies in the draft box are well fed.. ;)

this and that, sort of......

2009-04-04T23:08:00.002+01:00

so the M.S. situation is for now 'just M.E., still'....revisit it in a few months after trying a treatment for the new symptom....so far the side effects are not all that pleasant but I'll persevere......

the situation with the emotional vampire has reached 'critical mass'/'saturation point'.....or some expression like that: I have my final letter drafted out and ready to post.....

and I have realised that having worn my own knitted socks, I couldn't go back to 'ordinary': I had washed all my hand knitted ones, my feet were cold, so I put on a pair of shop socks and couldn't bear the feeling - just horrible; so my feet are sock spoiled ;)

it's quite incredible the difference in feel, touch, fit, just everything; actually, makes me feel quite good about my sock knitting: it might not be perfect, but then neither are my (long thin) feet.......and I seem to get by ok.......

home made socks and Doc Martens(boots or shoes) for comfort I say......

this and that

2009-02-16T19:39:00.004Z

still elated for Amelie.....she has(wisely in my view) withdrawn from this week's Dubai tournament, as she would have had no chance to rest before playing again)

lovely picture of her in 'The Advocate'.....black and white; not read the article yet: just got it today, at Borders. Another addition to the Momorabilia box :)

Speaking of Dubai.....Shahar Peer, the Israeli player, has been refused a visa to play - the WTA's rules say that no country should refuse another player entry because of *their* country....meanwhile she will probably be given extra ranking points, no-one will do anything(boycott? as if........)and not much else if anything will be heard about it......hmph.......

I'm psyching myself up for a doctor's appointment on Friday, to discuss(again) the possibility of MS......more symptoms since the last time of discussion, a couple of years back, so we shall see.....

anyone who has any extra thoughts or prayers or anything of that nature, please send in this direction, for a bit of courage for me to keep the appointment in the first place, and try to get a bit of progress when I'm there.......I'm not religious but would like to think that there is something somewhere that's compassionate and helpful - not in a micro managing sort of way, but in a way I haven't the means to understand, if that makes sense....call it the Universe, the Powers That Be, whatever.....

oh, and I've started the scarlet Amelie socks! Watch this space........ ;)

SHE'S DONE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-02-15T17:22:00.002Z

I waited, and watched, day by day, as she won, first one match, then the next day, again, and decided I couldn''t bring myself to post about it - as though I would jinx it or something.......

and so......

today......

the winner of today's final in Paris is.........

AMELIE MAURESMO

and what a wonderful sight it was; the whole match was a thriller, three sets of first class tennis...... and she won, and the emotions were flowing(here too) and it was lovely.

thrilling, in every way. I'm so pleased for her.

and......bought some scarlet alpaca(in hopeful anticipation) and will be making slouchy tube socks - comfy for relaxing after a hard match(and quicker and easier from the point of view of no heel: no worries about whether they will fit or not)

bliss.

afternoon delight

2009-02-11T22:19:00.002Z

watching Amelie Mauresmo, playing like she did when she was at her best, dressed in my favourite shade of red, and looking magnificent......

afternoon delight in the midst of the chaos in my head: eye of the storm stuff and all that. Just wonderful.

allez, Amelie!

several days........

2009-01-28T13:15:00.001Z

first of all, it may seem that all I ever do is grumble here......which may have some truth to it, as I use this place to vent and help myself a little: but, please, if you have time and inclination, do have a look at some of the links, especially the miscellany one......lots of interesting things to explore, including free downloads of every tv theme you can think of, highly addictive and very simple free games(orisinal) and many other things scattered about, on tennis, asperger's, knitting and other things .

so you see, it's not all moans and groans - also a repository of cyber bric-a-brac ;)

anyway.........the state of play right now:

- waiting for the other shoe to drop in the emotional vamp situation

- trouble at the weekend with new neighbours, which left me really distressed and disturbed

- considering moving house, and just the thought of that is stressful in itself

- a theoretical pleasant afternoon out yesterday(my first time out in the car for weeks) which turned into a nightmare, when the car gave up in the middle of the A1(which is a terrifying shit of a road as many people will know)....... no hard shoulder or layby or even strip of concrete to pull over onto: just a tiny bit of rubble beside a steep and very slippy grass verge........called AA - fortunately I had my mobile; but the sound of the traffic whizzing past was so bad I couldn't hear if I'd got through or not, so called police also...couldn't hear them either: called back and faintly heard policeman telling me to get into the car(which was not what I wanted to do, but did) so that I could hear on the phone......long story short, towed home by the AA complete with police escort......what a relaxing afternoon out :(

- already having tooth problems with a wisdom tooth coming in at each side(at the age of 53, am not impressed)and last night broke one of my front teeth: owwwwwwww.........fortunately had a dental appointment due so have got that covered, I hope......

- and just for the icing on the cake, a doctor's appointment on Monday to discuss tests for MS..........been explored before, more symptoms, need to see about it again.........

today's useful thing

2009-01-25T23:07:00.002Z

swept, cleaned and mopped the kitchen floor, and chucked out a grotty rug. Doesn't seem like much, but is today's 'I am useful' thing. (I do think that 'I am useful' sounds better than 'I am not useless')

thanks, Heather........ ;)

'discovering' Radiohead

2009-01-24T22:36:00.002Z

"I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here -
I don't belong here"

just a thought...

2009-01-21T13:49:00.004Z

you know in the Peanuts cartoons, where Lucy holds the ball and pulls it away just as Charlie Brown kicks? That's what it's like with the emotional vampire.......I'm Charlie, keeping coming back for more, and she's Lucy..........

Star Trek saves the day for me/Klingons to the rescue........

2009-01-16T17:18:00.003Z

.......just gave myself a smile: noticed I wrote 'boy crying worf' and of course it should be 'wolf'........'l' and 'r' aren't even close on the keyboard so I guess you could call that a Trekkian slip....... :)

she's back.......

2009-01-16T17:08:00.002Z

....the emotional vampire: after allowing myself to be lulled into a false sense of 'security'(ie wishhful thinking) I got a letter today which is back to the same old, same old.......the boy crying worf scenario.

how much sense that makes to anyone I'm not sure but it's such a complex background that I can't begin to put it clearly in my head, let alone words or here. Suffice to say that after a long talk with my shrink several years ago, and describing the situation, he not only agreed with me but also understood my feeling this way and helped me feel ok about it.

for the moment I am doing nothing.......but I need to do SOMETHING and the time is approaching where I may have to cut off completely. Not easy when it is your mother.........

thank you......

2009-01-11T23:39:00.001Z

((((((((((((((((((Heather))))))))))))))))))

memo to myself

2009-01-10T17:24:00.003Z

I am useful
I am not worthless
I matter

Today I did a washing, swept the carpet, and made a spaghetti sauce for dinner, as well as other little things. I made myself get on with it.

So, I made an effort to feel useful; perhaps not a great amount of things in the great scheme of the universe, but nevertheless something.

I am sorting through my stash and looking at various ideas; I have started one or two things and am continuing with others.

I am keeping going.

Still the feeling of being lost and alone and so tired of it all persists. Trying my best to resist it.

Feel guilty for feeling like tbis, for grumbling. That doesn't make the feeling go away - it just compounds the guilt I feel over feeling this way in the first place.......

ok, mentally treading water, trying my best not to allow myself to become overwhelmed, and keeping going.

physical pain. ongoing and chronic, and fed up with it.

Missing my Duchess, missing H. Trying not to think about the death of those dear to me, past and future.

what a cheerful wee midden......

resolutions, and other things

2009-01-06T15:50:00.002Z

inspiration from Knitty Fred......to match my stash to patterns, and (try) not to buy any more wool(yes, I still think of it as wool, whatever it's made of......trying to make myself say yarn, but am not there yet)

so, made a start this afternoon, and it was good, enjoyable....got the creative spark and juices flowing a bit, which was nice.

I've also started some crochet, which I'm liking; love the clover hooks, and the gorgeous knitpicks wooden one......

on another note: treated myself to some square circulars(from the US) and am finding them impossible to use: notn because of the squareness, ut because the cable is far too flexible - it's like trying to knit with cooked spaghetti. I know cables need to be flexible, but this is just impossible(for me) to use.......anyone else out there tried them?

just been playing a cd.....I'm going to blog about it on my other blog(yes, I have another one!) which is music based.....for anyone who might be interested, it's called

Colonel Carter's Cello

and with that I'll just wish a very happy new year and all the best to my 'regular suspects'(that's a compliment...from 'Casablanca')and to anyone who looks in or posts ...... you are most welcome here, thank you for visiting, and please do drop by again, either here, or over at the Cello..........

soothed by a dream

2008-11-29T13:46:00.001Z

..........
making tea for Amelie, then walking with her, her arm round my shoulder, smiling down at me.......an image to close my eyes and see whenever I feel the panic rising.......

panic and confusion

2008-11-28T20:03:00.001Z

everyone wants a piece of me and I can't cope

panic

everyone wants me to be something other than who and what I am and I can't cope

panic

all in little and bigger different ways till I wonder who I am and what I am and why

thank the universe for knitting

today

2008-11-16T00:20:00.003Z

((((((((((((((((((((Heather and Amber)))))))))))))))))..........it really does help to have your support.......

the alpaca pi shawl for the hospice is coming on.....was doing a bit tonight but had to stop as it was making me all tearful; I think I might leave it for a little while and go back to it.

Remember the Mardi Gras Jitterbug from a wee while ago? It's turned into a lovely pair of fingerless mitts.....just one thumb to do and all done .....really bright and happy......someday when I can raise the energy and enthusiasm I'll have a photosession of lots of bits and pieces......

just remembered.......a wee while back I put a picture up of a lavender coloured pinwheel lapghan: that was for H., my friend who died. Sadly he didn't have long to use it........

very sad day

2008-11-11T18:43:00.002Z

very dear friend died today. Closest thing to a best friend to me, going back many years, had been ill for some time and this was expected but still a shock when it happens. I didn't know whether to post here about it, but it might help......

have started a pink alpaca shawl for the hospice ......

I got a swift!

2008-10-22T16:19:00.001+01:00

when I can get my head together I'm going to have a photo session.....lots of things: finished socks, in Opal Zirkus, finished alpaca bedsocks for A. in Inca Cloud ( supposed to be 'Electric Blue' but my idea of electric seems different...this is a darkish 'Scotland' blue: to me, electric blue is much brighter and closer to turquoise..anyway, they keep his feet cosy and help his circulation which is what matters)

and today's goodie....a swift, bought on ebay for - wait for it - £1....... it's an old but not antique one; made of metal, clean as a whistle, three arms with adjustable lengths, which folds down when not in use: the middle slots into a clamp which holds it on the edge of the table. I have just christened it and it was a delight to use.......really easy, looks nice, worked like a dream, and takes so much less time, even balling by hand.

I wound another recent ebay goodie - a skein of Jitterbug in shade Mardi Gras, and it looks gorgeous......edible!

any suggestions - socks? or socks? or socks? or should I be daring and do a scarf or some fingerless mitts?

all of which helped take my mind of having storm damage on the roof repaired this afternoon....

frogging, knitting, and tennis

2008-10-19T14:04:00.001+01:00

having tried and frogged something(several times) a few days ago, and then done likewise today(another thing), it's definitely time for simplicity......so the plain old stocking stitch knee socks are out and being (hopefully) finished: one already done, and the second is half way up the leg. Perfect mindless knitting for not even having to look at, except the occasional glance, and needs no thought at all. Great for doing while watching the tennis.

The funny thing is - the colour is one I would not choose: it is SO not my colour....I'm a red person, and this is a weird mix of bright green/blue/brown /beige...but is Lorna's Laces(and I'd knit with LL in any colour) Got it in an ebay auction, and thought it would be just right for boot socks, as I didn't see the point in using a lovely colour for something which would be almost all covered up(I've found - for me - the perfect shoes for showing off socks: Doc Marten's Mary Janes. And they are heavenly to wear, too, which is nice)

so the odd colour is proving to make for an enjoyable knit all round - relaxing, useful, and knowing I won't be covering up a colour I want to show off.

I'm a women's tennis fan, but like to keep track of Andy Murray, so this afternoon's final between him and Simone will be worth a watch..the Auld Alliance of Scotland and France......

Right, back to Franklin's Panopticon(the name of the weird LL boot sock colour)

Oh, and I have a ganglion at the base of my right index finger: ow. I had one before, years ago, on the other hand, saw the doc, and it went away by itself, so I hope this one does too......worst finger for it; my main knitting/mousing/typing/you name it finger......

this and that

2008-10-13T18:01:00.000+01:00

having frogged the same thing twice.....a cat's paw shetland pattern scarf.....it's dawned on me that it is just a wee bit on the 'too much concentration required' side for my state of mind at the moment, so am doing something simpler(another cat's paw, but just one up the middle instead of an allover pattern) So we shall see how that goes.

a treat in the post today.....a copy of Cat Bordhi's "New Pathways for Sock Knitters". Couldn't get it here to splurged on ordering it. I'm really looking forward to having a good mooch through it and then trying something.....love her stuff; she was my source of learning to do socks without driving myself bananas: ie using two circs.

So, many thanks to you, Cat :)

Sent a letter to the emotional vampire today - things at breaking point, and it had to be done. Not got the ability to say much about it, other than it's sad but necessary.......

a poem, sort of

2008-10-10T09:47:00.003+01:00

The rain the rain is pishin' doon
And I have to go 'doon the toon'
This wee poem came to mind
As to myself I must be kind
It rhymes but doesn't scan
And thus reminds me of that man
Who wrote what some call doggerel:
William Topaz McGonagall
Catterel* is a better name
For crappy poetry that's lame
So off I'll go and get my mac
And put it on my weary back
(I mean the coat, not the machine -
Now that would be a sight to be seen)
And shuffle off along the road
My shopping trolley being towed
Along behind me, just in case,
The parcel's too heavy for my arms to embrace.

written by the Midden, on this wet Friday morning, and dedicated to Amber and Heather ;)

*definition of 'Catterel': rotten verse written by a cat lover who may or may not be able to do much better but enjoys messing about with words

thank you.......

2008-10-09T23:41:00.002+01:00

...amber and heather....you're a pair of sweeties; this afternoon I put on my new tshirt(Star Trek of course....big picture of T'pol from Enterprise on the front), my new(well, new to me)jacket(remember those fruit salad chewy sweeties? think those colours, in stripes, with a bit of turquoise)and my own knitted socks(Lorna's Laces Miata)and went up to Borders and got three magazines, and some ink cartridges from PC World. And some sweeties.

Home, and watched some tennis, and knitted, and had the most gorgeous cat cuddle......Toty up across my front, chin resting on my shoulder, paw stretched out over my arm, so sound asleep she was snoring and twitching and dreaming. We'd just shared some custard(she had her own wee saucer) and had a dreep of custard on her chin. The perfect cuddle.

I'm going to write down everything which comes to mind about the situation, and take it from there......thanks for being there - it's a very real comfort.......

and there's more.....

2008-10-09T12:51:00.002+01:00

got the most horrible communication from the emotional vamp this morning: shaking like a leaf......

so am going out this afternoon for a walk to clear my head, calm down, and buy something....just a magazine or a wee thing, but a cheer up.

f*ck it.

letter to myself

2008-10-07T09:48:00.003+01:00

last night I wrote one......feeling that I am and have been a 'bad' wife, daughter, friend, everything; falling woefully short in every category in every way. Nothing of self pity in all this - just cold hard fact.
So what am I to myself? That's the £60,000 question.......and I don't - yet - have the answer, if indeed there is one.........

Mauresmo and Mars.......

2008-09-30T15:06:00.001+01:00

breaking news...well, to me, as I'm the coo's tail(all behind)......Amelie is breaking from Loic Courteau, and snow is falling on Mars....

two things

2008-09-05T09:33:00.001+01:00

which help keep my head 'above water'.........

knitting
learning to play mandolin

just posting to make sure I still can......

and so it continues...... :(

2008-08-12T22:49:00.002+01:00

....... first my blog gets flagged as spam: now I've accidentally deleted my email account - any folks who keep in touch with me, would you email me at my gmail so I know, if you could, please?

my wee mind is boggling......down here in the midden it is a bit turbulent! Time to go and have a rummage in my stash and just look and feel pretty colours and wool......

testing testing.........

2008-08-02T13:38:00.002+01:00

......to see if I can post - tried yesterday and was told that my blog had been flagged as a spam blog....WTF?

so let's see if this posts......

pinwheel lapghan, smelly sock, and dungbeetle scarf......

2008-07-23T17:40:00.003+01:00

here's a picture of the pinwheel lapghan for my friend....picture doesn't so it justice wither colour or size wise: it's much bigger than it looks.
Lorna's Laces Happy Valley with a Periwinkle edging, and a single crochet happy valley to finish off.

and here's the wee catnip and valerian filled Lorna's Laces sock :)
For some reason this has typed in unerlined, and in pink...no idea why......

and this afternoon I wound a ball of laceweight alpaca - Mama Ocllo baby alpaca, beautifully soft, but oooooo the colour......I must have bought it in a sale I think; found it in my stash, and it is just the right thing for making the Pawprint Scarf before attempting the shawl, apart from the colour: I'm very much a bright colour gal - especially red; and this is called 'moss' but the name which springs to mind is dung beetle......could be why it was in a sale.. :)

and when it's all rolled into a ball, well, it looks just like the ball of dung that a dung beetle rolls.....

one successful baby sock.....

2008-07-21T18:29:00.002+01:00

...I had one already done, waiting to have its partner made, which of course it doesn't now need: so, this afternoon I stuffed it with catnip and valerian and it is a huge success....... :)

only the best - Lorna's Laces pink stripe: will take a pic if I can sometime, but it will be all soggy and chewed......

just finishing a big pinwheel circle to be used as a lapghan for friend who is in the hospice: myeloma; very pretty, Lorna's Laces again, Happy Valley edged with periwinkle: nice and bright and cheery. Hopefully he can keep his knees cosy when he gets back in his wheelchair....leg problems right now.

Very dear longtime friend who has been a real rock to me over the years; he and his partner are just about the closest friends I have.

will try to get a pic of it when I've finished - I loved making it and hope that 'rubs off' when he uses it......

random ramblings

2008-07-19T19:42:00.002+01:00

the socks for the cats were not a success......apparently everyone wants baby things from Gap and the like - can't help being disappointed......

Chris Evert is married to Greg Norman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know I have been behind in reading the tennis blogs, but how the hell did I miss that one? WTF????????

the emotional vampire is doing her thing again.......

my concentration is crap - had to rip out one piece of knitting today, and then did four rounds on a sock before I noticed I'd been decreasing in the wrong place......

what else.......taken up the guitar again; just for me. Good feeling to go back to it.

well, I just felt like blogging a bit......

baby socks for cats and first try at dyeing

2008-06-21T15:28:00.006+01:00

two pairs of baby socks for the open day at the cat shelter, to raise funds......hopefully more to follow. On the left - Regia Parrot. On the right - Regia cotton top. Basic rib and stocking stitch, from Cat Bordhi.

Also..first attempt at dyeing! Some wound balls of alpaca..all plain to start. I did each one separately, as a ball, but dropping it into about an inch of boiling water in an old pyrex coffee pot, and adding food colours, then leaving for several hours to soak up the colour.One using red and yellow, one plain blue, one blue with a touch of red. Great fun, and looking forward to trying skeins - I had these already to hand so it was just an experiment but takles forever to dry in a ball - even using a hairdryer :)

rain at Roland Garros......

2008-05-27T11:43:00.003+01:00

......means reruns of Justine Henin's retirement, or footage of Anna Ivanovic practising/on an exercise bike/being massaged etc.......... :(

I know the tv companies can't do anything about the weather, but couldn't they have something a bit newer/different in stock? How about some profiles of the up and coming players, rather than the big names all the time?

meanwhile, I am 'waiting for Momo'........ :) Just had to get that in.......

JUSTINE HENIN TO ANNOUNCE RETIREMENT

2008-05-14T10:09:00.001+01:00

......this afternoon, according to Sky tv..........

well done Saffy

2008-05-11T23:01:00.002+01:00

I am so pleased for her.......not just getting to the final, having beaten Justine Henin and Serena Williams on the way, but beating Elena Dementieva in three sets to be the champion.

Here's hoping this is just the beginning for her......

Meanwhile Amelie has had to pull out of next week's Rome tournament, still with the rib injury; I am so sad for her, and hope she can somehow get well and back to form, and confidence. How I'd love to have her win Roland Garros......

Listening to Elton John just now, and remembering going to see him in Glasgow, many years ago, a midnight concert on my birthday that year. Birthday approaching this year......funny thinking back on all that time ago. Seems like someone else in many ways.

Some great concert memories......David Bowie in his Ziggy Stardust years, Leonard Cohen(three times), Jethro Tull(Ian Anderson inspired me to learn to play the flute), the Kinks, Run Rig, lots more.....

a wish list of those I'd like to see and some I wish I'd seen:
Leonard Cohen(again)
Melissa Etheridge
kd lang
U2
John Lennon
Madness
Tom Robinson
George Michael
Queen(with Freddie Mercury of course)
Jussi Bjorling
Cecilia Bartoli
Abba
Scissor Sisters
Rufus Wainwright
Bob Dylan
Dory Previn
Randy Edelman
Birgit Nilsson