out

Today's "Sunday Times" has a free dvd of "The Piano", and I really wanted it....we don't always get a paper. Anyway, that and a couple of other messages needed to be got; I was getting ready to go this morning, and I could feel the tingling in my fingers and the tight throat and chest that comes when I get the "Don't want to go out" feeling(that's not a good description: it's not about wanting or not wanting, but I can't think of a better word for now so it'll have to do)

A. was up and had been thinking of going out himself, and said he'd go, and it would have been SO easy to say yes, and let him do it.....not far, not much to get, and so on....but I made myself carry on getting ready.

and just as I was ready to go, realised I still had my slippers on...so had to stop and put on socks and shoes......

I'd intended to show off the new Bob socks, but also knew I had to get myself out out out before I backed down, and so put on a pair of Jitterbug pink and purple(can't remember the name)because they were lying ready (er, waiting to be washed....dirty wee midden...) and my black Mary Janes and headed out with the wicker shopping trolley.

Starting off down the road......sunny, chilly, but a pleasant morning; and I began to feel it ease a little, though not completely. Went down the High Street to the paper shop first, and got this month's Yarn Forward, and my Sunday Times, and another one which had a pattern to knit a cuddly Bob the Builder(the wee boy downstairs loves B the B and I'd love to knit him one)

Then on round to the supermarket, and got my bits and pieces, and the feeling had gone......

I sat outside to sort out the messages when I'd finished, and just to have a wee think and relax. I like to do that - just calms me a bit. Sometimes I sing Hare Krishna(out loud). That calms me, too :)

By this time I was really knackered and slowing up, and sore, and tortoised my way home.

For anyone(UK) who has a Tesco nearby, those big canvassy bags with ladybirds on are great for stash storage. Also used as a scratching post when full!

I was thinking as I wandered home - I was dressed head to toe in my own knits. Not every item, but literally from head to toe:

hat in Lorna's Laces SS rainbow(just a beanie)
scarf in LLSS Red Rover(Old Shale)
long fingerless mitts in Jitterbug Mardi Gras
socks in Jitterbug bright pink/purple(can't remember name)

nothing really matched, and yet they all did, in a weird way...reds picking up reds picking up pinks picking up purples and blues.......gave me a good feeling, anyway, and that's all that matters.

other thing - jings this is a long post; well, I did say I was going to write more........anyway, today I have the racing mind a bit; I do get this, up and down, and it made me wonder if the fact that my body can't (due to fibro/HMS/ME and some other things) race along with my mind, does that mean my mind races even more to compensate? Just a thought........

right .... time to didg through the stash for Bob the Builder bits :)