1979

just been watching some old music videos from then and remember what a shitty, awful, messed up year that was for me......

not forgetting.....

....Leanna and yarnsnob.......thank you ......

to those who made a difference

AMBER! HEATHER!! ERSSIE!!! FRED!!!
you made me feel alive, not dead.
and Colin knows the lovely love
of Persian cats.......... I thank you, luv.

I changed my name to get away
From those who made me 'me' today:
I'm Alex, now, and then forever -
They'll never get me now:, no, NEVER

So thank you, all, who helped and healed me:
Please know I feel it all, believe me;
Whatever happens now,my friends
At least I'll be myself. No end.

to all who have helped me, recent and past, thank you
ALEX

mess

oh what a mess my life has been
what point, what point, I cannot see;
I've given little, taken much
and really see no point in such

I care not that that this isn't 'good'
('real' poetry? as if I could!)
it's just some thoughts that sit and find
themselves all stewing round inside my mind

my three sweet Persian girls are gone -
I may or may not later on
meet them again, in sweeter places:
now, I feel their loss. No rhyme.

The little ginger boy who's here -
he's got my heart, no fear, no fear!
I don't know what I'd do without him:
he keeps me going, loving, living

I'm older than my years would say -
I can't see farther than today:
what when and where will I become?
Or nothing, nothing, nothing, numb?

I like this......

......a quote from a commentator(male) during today's tennis on Eurosport.....

"My favourite quote: "No pain.......great!"

thank you.....and thank you.......

thank you, dear friends, for taking the time and trouble and effort to send me your thoughts and words of comfort: it IS a comfort to know that there are people who understand and know what it's like. I do so very much appreciate it.

I hadn't intended, but I'm sending a thank you to the universe for showing me a very brief - two, three seconds? - glimpse of my amazing beloved Amelie Mauresmo, still as wonderful as ever, from the 'behind the scenes' at the tennis in Paris, as I'm watching tonight: it made me feel so good just to see her and know she is there, still rockin'!

That's a very very personal thing that I don't have words for, but it was such an unexpected and sweet moment that I wanted to say so.

grief

I don't feel like or want to post this, but feel that I need to.

On Thursday we lost the last of our three sistergirl Persians......Socks, the last to go. Nearly fifteen years. All three within eighteen months or so. Sudden and heartbreaking and no more words right now.

All my wee lassies, in cat heaven together. Tears again.