Thursday, 7 February 2008

Hard Time on Planet Earth

years ago I remember a tv programme called that......and it sums up how I am right now. I'm writing this to try to help myself a little, to stop myself from feeling guilty about feeling like this.......

I've never had such a low, bad, dark bout of depression. It's like being on the edge of a black hole, being slowly sucked in. It's frightening.

So, last night I decided to call my doctor and try to get to see someone. I did, they fitted me in this morning, and hopefully this is the beginning of some help.

Crying all the time, crying down the phone, crying in the doctor's office, crying in the street as I walked home, and I didn't give a rat's ass what anyone thought.

Sitting peeling layers of skin from my feet - drawing blood; trying to give myself physical pain to take the edge off the emotional and mental pain.

What a mess.

4 comments:

ambermoggie said...

oh no:(
You aren't alone, we are all here for you sending positive strength and healing.
It doesn't help that this is the tail end of the dark months does it?
Hope you feel better soon and so pleased you asked the doctor for help instead of trying to do it yourself
Hugs
amber

Lou said...

Come on Claire - you are stronger than this - You have taken the right steps contacting the doctor now you must pull your tiny midden of a self up by the bootstraps - we are all out here for you and screaming at you to get back on top of things - we love you dearly and want the happy Claire back. My usual answer to depression is to hug my animals and make something - you have the means to do both of those things right there! :0) Oh and the Cats Protection League were thrilled with Rainbows blanket! They thought it was a lovely gesture and one I will certainly be encouraging in the months to come so you see you have started soemthing positive and good that will help animals in need all over the country - that can't be bad bow can it! Chin up my dear friend - God Bless xxx Lou

Embellishknits said...

Claire

You hang in there! I have been there; many of us have - exactly where you are now. Crying anywhere and everywhere. You will get through this. Prozac helped me tremendously but I had to change some things in my life that I couldn't deal with well without medication. Once that was done, the medication wasn't needed anymore. Sometimes it's hard to see the sun for the clouds; but the sun is always there waiting to shine for YOU.
You are doing the right things - things that uplift you. You have friends that will help you too!
God Bless and Keep You Always,

Debbie
OMG aren't those Cadbury creme eggs wonderful! I especially like the carmel ones.

Anonymous said...

Did you know on average a person needs to try 7 different antidepressants before findint the right one. hard to imagine isn't it?