random ramble

struggling a bit today....what with, just myself; last week I sent a 'cut-off' letter to the vampire. I thought long and hard and left it written for several days before posting it.

anyway, I did, and felt a sense of calmness and detachment afterwards..and I think that's leaving me a little now. I don't know WHAT I feel, just that it's not particularly pleasant: but that's ok.

I wish I had an 'off' switch so that I could mute the sounds around me......very sensitive to noise at the best of times, and even more so when I'm in the midst of anything emotional. It's fine if it's my own noise of choosing - as in, if I'm listening to music on headphones; but every little rustle, every clink of a knife and fork on a plate, all the everyday sounds..they are magnified to a nreve shattering level(and earplugs don't do the trick - it's still there, just muffled a little)

and I just don't feel like speaking, and don't want to appear rude, or try to explain myself(which I couldn't anyway).....

but the bunnies in the draft box are well fed.. ;)

this and that, sort of......

so the M.S. situation is for now 'just M.E., still'....revisit it in a few months after trying a treatment for the new symptom....so far the side effects are not all that pleasant but I'll persevere......

the situation with the emotional vampire has reached 'critical mass'/'saturation point'.....or some expression like that: I have my final letter drafted out and ready to post.....

and I have realised that having worn my own knitted socks, I couldn't go back to 'ordinary': I had washed all my hand knitted ones, my feet were cold, so I put on a pair of shop socks and couldn't bear the feeling - just horrible; so my feet are sock spoiled ;)

it's quite incredible the difference in feel, touch, fit, just everything; actually, makes me feel quite good about my sock knitting: it might not be perfect, but then neither are my (long thin) feet.......and I seem to get by ok.......

home made socks and Doc Martens(boots or shoes) for comfort I say......