memo to myself

I am useful
I am not worthless
I matter

Today I did a washing, swept the carpet, and made a spaghetti sauce for dinner, as well as other little things. I made myself get on with it.

So, I made an effort to feel useful; perhaps not a great amount of things in the great scheme of the universe, but nevertheless something.

I am sorting through my stash and looking at various ideas; I have started one or two things and am continuing with others.

I am keeping going.

Still the feeling of being lost and alone and so tired of it all persists. Trying my best to resist it.

Feel guilty for feeling like tbis, for grumbling. That doesn't make the feeling go away - it just compounds the guilt I feel over feeling this way in the first place.......

ok, mentally treading water, trying my best not to allow myself to become overwhelmed, and keeping going.

physical pain. ongoing and chronic, and fed up with it.

Missing my Duchess, missing H. Trying not to think about the death of those dear to me, past and future.

what a cheerful wee midden......

keeping going, and ravelry.....

woke today feeling quite panicky and anxious, over yesterday's upset, but I know I still have to deal with the situation and take the difficult but necessary action, which will be painful, but has to be done. So it's all about 'keeping going' right now, and keeping my mind and hands busy with the little ordinary everyday things, so knitting is good for that - simple and colourful and easy.

and after thinking and wondering what the fuss was about, I took the plunge and signed up on Ravelry...and now have to resist the urge to keep checking what 'number' I'm at on the waiting list. :)

never mind, it's fun, and another little thing to help me keep going. I was out for a little while this afternoon, just a short walk to the shops, and on the way back a song came into my head..an old Scots song by Harry Lauder: "Keep Right On Till The End Of The Road". The whole thing seem to play in my head.as though someone was singing it for me, to help me. Maybe sounds silly, but it helped.